Weavonomics

Inspired by a conversation I had last night (with my fiancé present), I decided to write this little piece on weaves and how I feel about them. While I am serious about a number of points raised below, please bear in mind that this piece was written for comical purposes, so please don’t be trying to get a brother fired…from my own blog…which I “own”. Anyhow, moving right along. Enjoy:

Picture it; Canal Walk Shopping Centre at Century City, about 10 minutes outside the Cape Town CBD having interesting conversations over dinner about being unemployed, potential franchise opportunities and how one should not be afraid to have a bit of fun with their money while they can. Then boom, out of nowhere like Nonhle Thema comparing herself to the big man upstairs the weave conversation comes up. Two girls, one guy.

As the man in the situation I was against the weave – because, in most cases, as the man in a relationship it is your responsibility to maintain your woman and make sure that she never longs for anything…the weave, by default, thus falls under your, erm…maintenance plan. I have long made it known to my significant other that weaves are not covered on my plan. It’s simple really, the economics of the weave just don’t allow for my conscience to feel comfortable with them.

I did some light research on this topic and found that a decent weave, if you know were to go, will cost you somewhere in the region of R350 – R500. If you go to the larney salons, you could very well find yourself paying upwards of a thousand rand. A thousand rand to put someone else’s hair on your head! I say if it costs more than R300, you must pay for it yourself, and frankly, if you have a thousand rand to put on your head, then surely things must be going well for you. Your life must be going so well in fact, that you certainly don’t need any of my financial support – in other words, I take it you are sorted for your monthly groceries, sorted on your monthly rent and electricity, sorted for your airtime and certainly covered on your transport requirements.

To this end I was asked, “Hau! Are you saying you wouldn’t buy a R700 pair of shoes?”, to which I responded “Maybe, but what does that have to do with a R700 weave?”

Apparently they serve the same purpose: to make you look good. Call me old fashioned, but I disagree. Expensive shoes, a nice suit or dress, even a flossy watch are all investments. They don’t need maintenance, they don’t need to be replaced every 2 months at a cost of R700+ and they certainly have no effect on your hairline – unless you’re a shopaholic who gets thrills out of maxing out their credit card…that will mess with your hairline, for days!

Besides, it goes back to my argument above. Yes, I would pay R700 for a good pair of shoes, if I deemed them worth it. That said, I would only do so with the knowledge that I can afford them – after my rent payment, after my cell phone and electricity bills are settled, after my car and insurance payments have gone off and certainly once I’m sure I have enough for groceries and petrol till month end. Then, and only then, will I maybe consider buying that R700 pair of shoes, and in concession, ladies, then and ONLY then, should you consider taking a thousand rand and placing it atop your lovely heads.

Woman Thou Art A Goddess

So, my cousin and new editor, @ItsNutty gave me a mine field of a topic for today: “Why not write about the effort that girls put into looking good but not their brain matter?” I must admit that I was slightly apprehensive about it at first, for fear of offending my female readers (since y’all are true examples of powerhouse ladies. #truestory); but then I thought, “bugger fear, challenge accepted!!” So, if you guys have any topic suggestions you’d like to read my opinion on, hit me up on twitter (@ngwanamosadi) or Facebook. Enjoy:


Woman, thou art a goddess
Athenian in poise and stature
Your glancing eyes, mature
Flicker across the room grab mine

And I am locked into you
Hair full, curves got me revving
Skin so smooth has me melting
Softer than any silk I’ve ever felt and
Those heels, heaven save me those heels

So apt for such artfully carved and shaped bases
To hold up the pylons of perfection
That are those everlasting legs
On and on and on they go

From a glance at you everyone in the room knows
Of the hours and effort and strain
Sweat and heart staking pain
That you put into achieving what stands before us

Physical perfection
And you’ve succeeded
But what now that you’ve got my attention
Will you keep it beyond the physical attraction
Will you stimulate me beyond the affection

Is it too much to ask
A standard too high to be attained
Should I be grateful and not complain
That I’ve found the epitome of every man’s desires
The envy that causes every woman’s disdain
I don’t think so

If you could be so applied to your physical beauty
Then surely, you could apply the same intensity
To highlighting your mental faculties
So as your breathtaking appearance does
They too can inspire poetic descriptions and utterances
Which take the mind away on journeys unimagined
To epic places only thoughts have access to

As your majestic body has
So too your mind those powers should possess
For woman, thou art a goddess.