Drivers Etiquette

I recently did a cross country tour of South Africa, covering 7 of our 9 provinces and 4000km in a space of three weeks. Given what I saw, I thought I'd do a piece on driving etiquette for those of you who may have just moved to a new province/city to help you acclimatize a bit faster. (Note: this post contains all manner of generalizations which were meant to be humorous...because they're true:) Enjoy:


So, this week everyone is officially back at work. For some, it's going back to familiar jobs in familiar cities, and for others this means starting new jobs in unfamiliar surroundings. Either way, you have to find your way around, so to this end, I will give you a province by province breakdown for what to look out for when on the roads (excluding the North West and Eastern Cape Provinces as I wasn't in those two).

For the purposes of, erm...objectivity, the provinces will be listed in alphabetical order, starting with the Free State and ending off with the Western Cape.

1. Free state: Traffic lights and lane markings clearly weren't a priority in Bloemfontein, so be aware when driving in the city. Also, be wary of pedestrians who randomly cross the road as if in a zombie state. They don't look left and right and left again, they just step into the road.

2. Gauteng: For the longest time I complained about how Cape Town drivers need to drive as if they're going somewhere. I don't have this problem with Joburg drivers. They all drive as if they're trying to get to their graves. Too much focus is what got that other guy killed...you know, that OTHER guy. This could also lead to a fender bender for the untrained driver - explaining to the boss that you're late because you're trying to figure out Gauteng public transport while your car is in for repairs is not a good look. To that end, if you don't have the car hire option on your insurance, be sure to add it when you get to Gauteng. Thank me later.

3. Kwa-Zulu Natal: Oh. My. Gosh! I have a theory regarding drivers in KZN. Either they can't afford the R8.00 toll gates and use their indicator sticks to pay for them or they have some sort of telepathic understanding which the rest of us aren't privy to, because they randomly switch lanes - on the bloody highway! At 120kmh!! I swear I nearly got pushed off the road three times...in a ten minute period. Drive there at your own peril.

4. Limpopo: Not to be biased because I'm from here, and Imma let you finish, but Limpopo has some of the greatest drivers of all time! That said, I do wish the government would create an alternative to the N1 to cross borders, because all of those vans overloaded with maize meal and cooking oil looking like their rear left wheels are about to pop off are not a good look for us.

5. Mpumalanga: I have one thing to say about this province. Potholes and corruption 35 - service delivery 0. Be afraid, be very afraid...and slow. A pothole at 90kmh+ will do no good for your rims and even less good to your pocket.

6. Northern Cape: No-one actually lives in the Northern Cape, so...

7. Western Cape: As mentioned above, not the most focused drivers in the world. I often used to get the impression that Cape Town drivers just got into their cars and drove with the hopes that an almighty power would "give them a sign" to guide them on their journeys. Should you find yourself needing to get somewhere in this province, take initiative and show focus, otherwise you WILL forever more be 17 minutes late. For everything!

I hope this helps. Happy driving and enjoy the roads, we have a beautiful country with some breath taking scenery and a truckload of truly epic roads! Be safe, buckle up, don't drink and drive and have an epic 2012. Do best!