Moved to Wordpress

Hello people

Just a quick heads up to let you know that Ngwanamosadi has moved over to Wordpress as a result of requests made by a number of (3) readers because it's easier to comment and do other bloggy stuff on there. The addy stays the same, just substitute "blogspot" with "Wordpress" i.e. Ngwanamosadi.wordpress.com. Here's the link for the latest post:

Don't Tell Me That You Miss Me: http://wp.me/p2boBJ-1O

I hope all the issues users had on here are resolved by the move:) I really appreciate the continued support guys!

Thanks

Ngwanamosadi

The Supply

I found out recently that someone I'm very close to is using drugs. So I wrote this about addiction:


It starts with one.
Man it makes you feel good, sky high
Like you're flying, on top of the world
It sends pulsations through your body
Like you wouldn't believe the sensation tickles your mind
Sends shivers down your spine, takes over you
From your finger tips to the tips of your feet
For a divine moment your soul and spirit meet
The world is yours to conquer
You are almighty.
That's what the supply does.
I know, I get it.
After all if you regret it
You can just take a little more and that'll help you forget it
It's win-win you can't loose
So why should you be forced to choose?
Why can't people just let you feel good
Let the rush take you over
Make your problems and those of the world inconsequential for a while.
Let your body be at ease so you can sleep for a while.
Silence your thoughts so you can think, let you breathe for a while...
The thing with being high though
Is you can't see the tears your family cries
It takes your pride
And leaves it amplified
Has you thinking, "nah, I got this"
When in reality what's true
Is the fact that it's the supply that's got you.
By then, it's too often too late
When you're so caught up in its grip
No matter what you do it won't let you slip
From its vices.
The funny thing is it used you in all your guises
Lying to your people trying to hide it
To get you here today.
The supply is smart like that
It gets you to outsmart yourself
Makes you the pawn in your own game of chess
A game where you always come off second best
Looking like a second rate you.
It's true, what they say you know.
There's always someone who knows but doesn't know it
They're the ones who feel the loss the most when you're gone.



If you or anyone you know has any sort of addiction, call the SADAG helpline toll-free on 0800 121 314. SMS's can also be sent to 32312.

Last Minute V-Day Shopping

For you people who didn't do any Valentines Day planning: here's a quick how to guide to get you through the day. Enjoy:


So it's Valentines Day...and you've forgotten all about it. In other words you've made no reservations and you haven't even bought so much as a happy birthday card (because by now all the Valenyines Day cards are sold out). Do not fear, Ngwanamosadi has got your back. Follow this easy guide on how to fake Valentines Day and you should be fine.

If you're single, this does not apply to you, so rather than wallow in your misery, take a moment to chuckle at the people reading this ACTUALLY hoping to get some advice. Should it be the case that you do have a significant other (makwapenis, booty calls and side chicks included), you need to pay attention.

1. Come down with a serious, life threatening illness or get drafted into the military to be sent off on tour at 16:50 (only applies to Americans).
2. If your woman has some sense and can see through this rouse, rifle through her wardrobe to get all her measurements - dress size, bra size, waistline, shoe size, EVERYTHING! (Note: I give this advice because any man who has a rough idea of what his woman's measurements are would've had V-Day on lock three weeks ago).
3. Moving along, I have three words for you: shoes and lingerie. According to studies conducted with a pool of two women, you can never go wrong with these.
4. No matter how much she loves it, don't buy her chocolate. She will get fat and you'll be left miserable and that's not what we want - this magical day should be win-win.
5. Trying to book a restaurant at this point is futile - unless you plan on taking her to Wimpy or Mc Donald's. Let me know how that works out for you...
6. As I was tryin to point out in point 5 above, you will need to eat. Since all the real restaurants have been fully booked out since the 18th of January, I recommend you bring in some help. If you have a friend who is a whizz in the kitchen and is single (i.e. laughing their ass off at you right now) ask them to come whip something up for you. Otherwise, place a take away order at a fancy restaurant and claim it as your own:)
7. Set the mood: light candles, spread roses on the floor, if possible get a table and chair set up in your garden for a moonlit dinner.

Great! Now you're all ready to go, give your lady some flowers and let her know throughout the day and night how much she means to you, and remember: yes, the thought is what counts, but a little money strategically spent never hurt. Have a good one guys and be safe!

Why Get Married?

Last week sometime 3 Talk apparently brought in a panel of people to discuss the topic "Why get married". I missed the show but my friend Emma posed the question to me and asked that I write this piece. Enjoy:


Marriage, to most implies a committed, monogamous relationship. Yes, Jacob Zuma will dispute that because in many cultures one may take multiple partners. Polygamy aside, marriage is seen by a fair majority of society as a coming together of two souls as one...biblically anyway. To the modernists who constitue a fairly sizable amount of people will argue that if two people really love each other, a wedding won't enhance that, they can just live together and make each other happy. To the pessimists (for want of a better word), marriage is just a sham to legally chain two individuals together in what eventually devolves into a loveless, sexless, unhappy, monotonous boredom.

So then, why get married? I posed the question on Facebook and Twitter and was inundated with 5 responses. One of my tweeps said that getting married is like investing in the person your with. Some Facebook friends said things like "because she wants to", "because it's tradition and vat en sit (living in sin) is frowned upon" and "weddings are fun, so if both are keen, why not?" All fair points with some truth to them in my opinion.

I'll be honest, I've always wanted to get married, have kids and do everything in my power to make my wife happy and my kids proud. It's always been a dream of mine because I was raised in a home like that, and it made me happy. It brought stability to my life. However, while I'm being honest, as I've grown and as I've learnt what it really means to love someone completely and what it means to be there for someone, I've also come to see getting married in a more black and white sense.

To be honest, be it the fairytale destination wedding you've had in your head since you were 5 years old with volcanoes erupting and waves crashing in the distance to signify your love, or a visit to the local municipal court to "sign the papers", getting married all boils down to a legal contract. A contract which determines what will happen in the event that one of you wants to buy a sofa from Russels on account. A contract which can protect some of your assets if one of you goes into bankruptcy. A contract which says who gets what property and how many kids should things not work out. This contract can also provide you with certain other financial benefits, lower insurance premiums and loan interest rates. For the economists and rationalists, getting married just puts everything on paper, organizing, simplifying love. It takes all the emotion out of things and rationalizes it. Logically, it makes sense to get married.

I'm almost certain that at this juncture half of you think I'm nothing more than a cold, calculating individual. Fair enough, but while I hold all of those views of getting married, I don't hold the same view of marriage, and let's all face it, any one can say "I do", which is what getting married is. The marriage on the other hand, the tumultuous ups and downs, the fights, the bitterness, the second guessing, all of that is what actually matters in my view. When, not if, your MARRIAGE gets tough and you start to weigh the joy you get out of the relationship against the misery it brings you, will your desire to walk away to 'greener pastures' outweigh your desire to stay? After every fight will you want to run away? If leaving is what you'll want to do, then I have two simple words I'd advise you use on your wedding day: "I don't."

However, if you'll always want to stay, if you'll always want to work things out, if you'll always be prepared to put your pride aside to deal with the real issues I ask you now, why not get married?

State Of The Notion

No, that is not a spelling error in my title. After reading this you'll know why:) Enjoy:



And so it was, Msholozi, our president, Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma sauntered down the aisle of the erm...parliament building in Cape Town to give his state of the nation address to the sounds of the Swati praise poet reciting Jay-Z’s praises. Once stood at the podium and after a short applause right on cue from the rent-a-crowd employees, Zuma began his speech. He started off with a rather lengthy shout out to all the dignitaries in attendance. Then he went on to FINALLY acknowledge struggle heroes who weren’t part of the ANC. A nice touch.

President Zuma then went on to mention how government has “made progress” in certain key areas such as education and health since last year’s SONA. He also acknowledged the fact that unemployment and poverty remained high and then went on to say some words in Zulu which neither myself nor Minister in the Presidency Trevor Manuel could understand (made very clear by the strain on his face).

On the topic of unemployment, Msholozi also pointed out that since the 70’s apartheid created structural unemployment, the lowest that the South African unemployment rate has been is 20%. To this end, he mentioned that under his regime in the past year or two the unemployment rate has fallen from a staggering 25% to an, uhm...more acceptable 23.9%...

It was pretty much at this point that I stopped my note taking, because based on the things he started saying I could envisage the rest of his speech. I wasn’t far off. The president went on about the things his government planned to achieve, citing the 20-year National Development Plan. The government wants to improve service delivery in housing, they want to improve the health system, they want to build universities in Mpumalanga and the North West, etc. He also dropped a couple of numbers starting with the big “B” saying that funds had been approved/allocated to making these things happen. All the things people want to hear. All those sweet, wonderful pipe dreams and notions we’ve been fed for years.

So, as far as delivering the state of the notion address, Zuma did just that. All he did was talk about the notion of a better South Africa where everyone lives a better life, together in harmony – because “together, we can do more”. No “how”, no “when”, no “where”, and no “who” – only the “what”. His speech answered none of these basic questions of goal setting. This, Mr President, is not how one sets SMART goals, and as we all know, if your goals are not SMART, you are only setting yourself up for failure.

I don’t expect our president to go into too much detail when it comes to his plans. He doesn’t need to tell me which government official in the Bushbuckridge Municipality will have R18 500 per month set out to him to pay the cleaners in his school district. What I DO expect is for him to make it very clear in his speech WHO will be held accountable for ensuring that the promised universities in Mpumalanga and the North West get built. Is it the minister of higher education, or maybe his deputy? Perhaps even the MEC’s of those provinces – who the hell knows? I don’t!

I wish he’d give the nation a 2-year plan. Yes, the 20-year plan is all good and well, but you and I both know that if he gets re-elected to the presidency, he won’t achieve 95% of the notions he’s pointed out and HE won’t be around to be held accountable for those failures. I wish he would lead from the front with practical steps to achieving the rhetoric in so many an ANC leaders’ public statements in the past two decades to clearly outline HOW we will make these things a reality. As a country South Africa is all too brilliant at dreaming big dreams for our future, what we need to realise is that in between right now and tomorrow we need to put in the effort and work to bring our dreams to bear.

In my view, the president needs to make some bold moves. I mean the most “controversial” part of this SONA was the statement about how the willing buyer willing seller policy is not working as effectively as needs to be for land redistribution to be at the required pace. I wish he would’ve stepped out on a ledge with other policies. I wish he’d said to the nation that he has plans to make it law that government ministers HAVE to use government hospitals and their children have to attend government schools. If you think about it, these suggestions aren’t really that far out there, I mean, the president of the country doesn’t reside in Europe. Why then should the minister of health peruse private hospitals? Why should the minister of basic education send her kids to private schools? It makes no sense at all and if nothing else, it would raise awareness amongst political ranks as to the REAL state of our nation. After all, you can’t see problems you don’t have, and if you can’t see something, how on earth can you ever expect to fix it?

I, personally, am tired of dreams and what if’s. I have had enough of imagining what life in Mandela’s new South Africa COULD be like. Zuma was right about one thing though, the government can’t do it alone – and they shouldn’t have to. I just count myself fortunate that I am in a position to do something about it for myself. I hope that when the rest of South Africa gets a chance to do something about our future at the next election they do. If there’s one lesson our government has taught us, no-one is going to place the perfect life in your lap, on some level or another you have to make it happen.

Let's Go 50/50

This piece has been in the works (my mind) for a few months now. I'll be honest enough to say that it has been one of the toughest pieces I've written to date. Gender equality isn't as cut and dried a topic as I thought - I hope I did it justice and I hope it gets people thinking just a wee bit. Enjoy!




For many, many years a lot of very brave women fought for equal gender rights. They wanted to be able to vote, like men, they wanted to be able to be the breadwinners for their families, like men, and they wanted to be treated like first class citizens, like men. Now let me be completely honest here and state that I believe in women's rights through and through. I was raised by a number (and I'm not exaggerating when I say a number) of very strong, independent women who showed me that anything a man can do, a woman could do just as well.

The women who played a part in raising me did such a great job of showing me that women are just as capable as men that when I see a woman in an office or holding a position of power, it doesn't even occur to me to think about the fact that a woman is doing the job. Never in my life can I recall losing out on something and think "but she's a girl/woman, how the hell did that happen?"

For my upbringing and the strong women that I've come across in my life I am eternally grateful because I hold no ignorant prejudice against anyone just because they're not like me. It has, however, taught me to believe that (natural psychical strength aside) men and women should be seen as equals in ALL spheres of life - and I mean ALL spheres of life.

In my view gender equality is an all or nothing concept. It means removing the words "it's because I'm a woman" from your vocabulary all together. So, if your boss says something harsh to you about your work performance, take that as a challenge. Improve the standard of your work and prove him wrong. If someone at the office or even in public makes a pass at you and it makes you feel uncomfortable, man up (for lack of a better phrase) and deal with the situation. People treat you only as you allow them to treat you. You, the individual, facilitate your treatment in life.

Needless to say, I actually take offense when Taurets-like feminists cry sexism at seemingly random times. I'll take the example of an ad campaign by the Mavericks, erm...gentlemans club last year, who launched a "racy" billboard campaign for a new fragrance called "Alibis" (google the pics). There was such a huge uproar about how Mavericks being a stri...I mean, gentlemans club and them launching these billboards was so degrading to women that the billboards had to be taken down. Seriously??! Now, I didn't do much (any) real research before writing this but I'd be surprised to find any public outcries over any racy Chanel, DKNY, Gucci or Dior ad campaigns post 1993.

I say if youre going to take offense to something, be consistent about what it is exactly that offends you. Don't bemoan the fact that men aren't chivalrous anymore and then refuse to take a seat on a bus when a guy offers to stand up for you - I've seen this many a time by the way. I find myself much inclined to agree with the statement that chivalry is dead and women killed it. I wish ALL women would take gender equality as seriously as they expect us men to take it. Then, maybe just maybe, ALL men would start taking gender equality as seriously as they should.

Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child

So, some old lady whose children are probably all grown up already has apparently started a group lobbying for the criminalization of corporal punishment in the home. This piece is basically a summary of why this WON'T work in a country like South Africa. Enjoy:


Sooo, they took away corporal punishment from South African schools sometime in the 90's (95/96 I think it was). Look at where that's left us, children with rights. The little buggers threaten to report their teachers when they are punished. This in turn means that school kids have lost respect for their teachers. I mean really, if I refuse to go on a time out as a pupil what's the teacher really going to do? Put me on another time out? Really? REALLY?! Come now.

Kids go to school and have teachers to help TEACH them. We've all seen the tagline "You can't teach a hungry child". Let me tell you this for a fact, you CAN'T teach a child who won't listen. Now, you and I both know that regardless of your age/life experience there are only two reasons in life that would make you listen to someone - first, you fear them and second, on some level or other, you respect them and think that they can add value to your life. As a child, you can't really tell the difference between these two listening motivations because your life experience doesn't allow you to really comprehend the latter.

I won't get into our schooling system too much, but I think we can all agree it's pretty shite - something a few hidings here and there could've prevented. Now people out there are saying the power to discipline should also be taken away from parents. I use the term "discipline" loosely here, because in my view discipline, to someone under the age of 13, on some level or other should involve a few of the best (depending on the offense of course). According to the people lobbying for corporal punishment to be made illegal, other means of discipline should be used. I take it they mean grounding, taking away of cellphones/playstations/gameboys and sitting in the naughty corner or being sent to your room.

Let me cut straight to the chase here. We live in South Africa, an alarming number of kids don't have rooms to be sent to. Sitting in the "naughty corner" means you're still in earshot of the radio. I won't even talk about the luxuries because you can't take away something someone doesn't have. That's the reality of the situation.

Now, let me break down the practical aspect of this. As I mentioned above, before the age of about thirteen (pure thumb suck number) you do not really have a firm grasp of the concept of right and wrong. Someone telling you that what you are doing is wrong might make you think twice about doing it, but if you have no basis for trusting that person (refer to 2nd paragraph) you have no real feeling to attached to that action. This simply means that when you consider doing something naughty again, you'll be indifferent as to whether or not to go through with it, and then your outcome or the potential pleasure derived therefrom becomes your primary motivator. So I put the question to you, as a 5 year old kid about to steal your baby sisters ice-cream having been told that it's wrong, what would you do? Now, if your mother had lovingly placed you over her lap and given you a reason not to sit down for a few hours your decision making process would probably steer you on a slightly different path. This for the simple reason that the pain you associate with stealing far outweighs the potential pleasure of the ice cream cone.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning violence here. I believe corporal punishment should be used in conjunction with all the other discipline methodologies. At the very least the parent should sit the child down before the hiding and explain to them why what they did was wrong and why they are being punished.

That being said, if you grew up in a household where groundings and not hidings were the norm and you're thinking to yourself "I turned out just fine" then I am thankful FOR your parents (because the good Lord blessed them with a child who listened). All I can say is should I one day be lucky enough to have a child and that child misbehaves and threatens to (or actually) calls the police/child services when I punish them, I WILL put that child up for adoption - and I seriously doubt I'd be the only one. I wonder then if all the anti-corporal punishment lobbyists will put as much time and effort into fixing up our adoption homes and orphanages...

I Do (Till Death Do Us Part)

I've had a challenging start to 2012, one filled with lots of learning, frustrations and a bit of uncertainty. On more than one occasion I've found myself wondering what it is I'm doing with my life - even feeling a bit deflated at times, so I wrote this. Enjoy:


I won't lie, I lose a little steam some time

I get demotivated, my eagerness gets a tiny bit deflated

Even though I try to keep my head down and just keep at at at it

I lose sight of the end, like I'm falling back to the beginning

But this is only the beginning as I start to realize

The stars don't stop shining cause they're not burning in my eyes

I look up, and see

This life is greater than me

I'm destined to be more than I could ever be

Just gotta push

Even though I'm not quite knowing

Where the finish line is gotta keep keep going

Till I'm done. Me and this hustle promised until death do us part

And that my friend, was a promise from the heart

And my head, I gotta get it screwed back straight

Even on the finishing straight, I know that past that gate

Once I'm over that mountain, there's more for me to do

And I'll be sure to keep at, till my very last breath

Till I'm undone by death

Do I promise to the hustle to stay true?

That my friend, you can be sure I do.

Letter To My Unborn Baby (Girl)

I've been thinking about having a kid for a while now. It's a huge responsibility, one which I don't think financially ready for yet, so I wrote this in the mean time. I'm really looking forward to the experience:) Enjoy:


God seen live for the very first time'll
Be the very first time you open up your eyes an

I see it, the miracle of birth happened to me an your moms

In her arms, you'll lay heart beatin, feet kickin

Most beautiful baby girl

You squeeze my finger, to think that, in my hands I hold the power to shape your world

Baby I love you, you're now a party of the family

Arguably, probably the biggest part of me, gosh

My little princess I can't wait to hold you, feel your baby soft skin, swell up deep within with the

Pride knowing I made you, birthed by your moms and the most heavenly power up above created you

And gifted you to us and you can trust

That everything humanly possible to protect you

We will do

We'll mould you, shape your mind and your life

To be better than what you can be, bigger than what we can be, yes we

We will always have your back baby girl

And we'll always take you back
baby girl
Cause you'll always be our baby girl

No matter what

I know you're not here yet

And that's ok, I'll be patiently waiting

Finishing up this letter for my unborn baby.

Hooters Anonymous

Since I've relocated to Johannesburg, the city of what what, I think the hearing in my right ear has somewhat deteriorated due to the incessant and excessive use of hooters by Joburg drivers. This piece, then, is meant to educate these poor hooting souls on what their car hooters can and can NOT do. Enjoy:





So, you're in your cute little/burly masculine car with those Gauteng-wide famous GP license plates. Somehow, you've managed to start the car and get it moving in a forward motion sans deploying your hooter. You, my friend, are (to this point) winning at life.



Now I know, I know, you're fast approaching the boom that signals the border of your gated community and the pressure to just slam your palm against your steering wheel to emit a sound reminiscent of a dying bovine from the cockels of your vehicle is mounting - but resist my friend, resist! As, erm...wonderful and usefull an invention as the hooter might be, it has it's limitations, but first, let's start with what the average car horn CAN do.



It can:



1. Warn pedestrians/brain dead animals in the road of impending doom;

2. Prevent you from being awarded a ticket when the speed-cop pulls you over to inspect your car and asks you to test the car horn;

3. And...uh, actually there is no third point, I just put this here so the list didn't seem so sparse...which it is...otherwise I wouldn't have put this here...moving along swiftly!



Now, let us move on to things your hooter can NOT do (brace yourself, this list is a tad bit longer...actually it's a lot longer, but for the purposes of not making you feel like a COMPLETE twat for all the times you've inappropriately used your horn I've truncated it - and no, that doesn't mean I've put it into the boot).



Now where was I? Ah yes, your car hooter can NOT do the following:



1. Make the standstill/stop and go traffic move any faster;

2. Miraculously improve the clutch control of the learner driver who's just managed to stall their car in front of you;

3. Swerve your car out of the way to avoid hitting the pedestrians/brain dead animals referred to in point 1 of the first list above;

4. Prevent taxi drivers from starting their own lanes;

5. Make you any less late for work;

6. Improve your child's IQ;

7. Fix your marriage and/or sex life;

8. Make your wife get dressed any faster;

9. Make your kids eat their cereal quicker in the mornings;

10. Make the robot turn green;

11. Or make the world a better place.



So, for the love of all things sweet and merciful, next time you think of using your car horn, think long and hard about what value, if any, it will add to the human race - unless you're about to hit something. In which case my simple rule of thumb is this: If you have enough time to you hoot, you certainly have enough time to swerve! Happy driving.

Cry My Beloved Limpopo

So, I was asked by two friends of mine, Mahlodi and Michelle to write a piece on the nonsense happening in my beloved Limpopo province. Here it is:



I did a google search for news articles surrounding the financial controversy happening in Limpopo. Needless to say, quite a few reports popped up. In these reports I saw mention of some serious misspending on the part of the Limpopo government, some stating that Limpopo was in debt to the tune of R2-3 billion rand, another claiming that three months into the 2011/2012 fiscal year Limpopo's R43 billion rand budget had been spent already! On what?


Now, being from Limpopo I kid you not when I say reading through those reports broke my heart. Heck, having to write this piece is breaking my heart. I say it breaks my heart because I see reports of billions of rands being "spent" by the Limpopo government and yet I cannot for the life of me see where it's gone. It's not gone to education or health care. Granted, there have been some major repair works on some of the main roads through the province (I'll site the R71 from Polokwane to Tzaneen), but other than that, I've not seen any other notable improvements in the province. Certainly to the tune of R43 billion.


Now, the allegation, which the premier and his, erm...colleagues are denying is simple: tenders and money have been given to people who were neither qualified nor capable enough to deliver on the requirements. In short, tenders were being sold for financial kick backs and "loyalty". I can tell you for a fact, because I know someone who runs a legitimate business which requires tenders for revenue in flows, that this is most likely true.


You see, how business was being done in Limpopo went a little something like this: "We, the people in power and in charge of the tender awarding process are hosting a gala dinner to get to know business owners and service providers a bit better. You, as the business owner/operator in the province are invited to this auspicious event. Please take note that should you be unable to attend this event, we will be unable to consider you for any tenders as we don't 'know' you. Oh, and by the way, a seat at the gala is R50 000."


I don't know about you, but this looks like corruption in its purest form to me. Add to that, there are also numerous reports of companies with suspiciously close ties to people involved in the tender awarding process landing a number of major contracts. These two things (with a host of other factors) had a number of knock-on effects.


First, they lined the pockets of government officials. Second, they increased the cost of doing business in the province, causing a lot of ethical businesses to go out of business while rewarding and enriching the less ethical businesses with lucrative tenders. Third, it added to the cost of service delivery, because as any smart business owner knows, you need to factor in ALL of your costs before offering a service price: in practical terms, these so-called government officials were just using thier younger siblings to steal out of the cookie jar. Finally, (for the purposes of this piece), it meant that the service provider selected for the job wasn't always the best of the lot - meaning that the people of Limpopo got sub-par service delivery.


I'll be honest, when I was considering writing this piece, I was going to take a very emotional view on the topic. In short, I was going to say screw the money, it's gone. Throw ALL of those thieving bastards in jail and lose the keys. I still believe that, and I doubt anything will change my mind.


The thing that gets to me the most about this though, is not the fact that these retards managed to rob my province blind, it's the fact that my province not only gave them the power to do it, they sat back and watched! It doesn't do much for the stereotypes about us Limpopians that knowing full well of the corruption happening in the ruling party that they still have a serious majority in the province come election time. This is even worse given that since 1994, they have done squat in that province. I don't get it, it's like a Limpopo-Eastern cape phenomenon, were the people suffer from battered voters syndrome!


I won't say people need to start an uprising and protest and demonstrate and "burn shit down", but mark my words if things don't change and soon, I'll be more surprised if we don't see an uprising than if we do. Because i don't advocate violence as a means to any end, I hope the change comes when we next go to the polls. I hope people wake up and realize that if you vote someone into power, or withhold your vote knowing that they will win power, that's as good as standing back and watching someone beat your child.


To finish off, I will say this, I am a young black man from Limpopo, I have a lot of potential and you'll be sure to hear about me in the future because I'm going to achieve big things in this life time. In Limpopo, I've seen a million other me's with a million times more potential. I just hope our government steps up to fix this mess and afford them the opportunities they were promised all those years ago.

DASO Perverts

Limpopo corruption piece still in progress. For today though, I write about the DASO poster "scandal". Enjoy:

I'll start by saying this: if you were offended by the DA Student Organisation poster, which shows a "naked" couple embracing, then you're an idiot.

The poster depicts a black woman embracing a white gentleman. They both appear to be topless in the shot. Because of this, all the ignorant perverts have decided to crawl out of the woodwork making statements like "the DA is promoting promiscuity" and "does the DA think the struggle was just about cross-race dating?!".

The tag line for the poster states: "In OUR future, you wouldn't look twice". As I generally do, let me break this poster and the ignorance of the idiots who made the above statements down.

The aim of the poster, as unoriginal and cheesy as it may be, is to get people talking about race and I suppose to become more comfortable with people who may not share their skin color. The first objective has clearly been achieved, and as for the latter, well, as long as people see sex in a poster about race then...

As a starting point, a dictionary definition of promiscuity is "indulging in promiscuous (casual and indiscriminate) sexual relations". Let me point something out here, if you take a closer look at that poster you'll notice that you can't see wedding rings on either of the models hands, not because they're not there, but because YOU CAN'T SEE THIER RING FINGERS. Erego, how do you draw the conclusion that they are being promiscuous? I doubt I need to make the point that the same people screaming promiscuity are probably the same ones walking around donning thier "Kill for Zuma" tees.

As for the comment about the struggle not having been about cross-race sex/dating, I'll say this, people fought for thier rights. This INCLUDED the right to date whomever you wanted. Maybe DASO should've had a photo of a super wealthy black guy in front of huge mansion with a huge assortment of luxury German sedans parked outside with the tagline "In OUR future, you wouldn't have to investigate"...

Words Are Easy

I told myself that I wasn't writting anything today, but when inspiration hits it hits, courtesy of a conversation with my tweep @Oobakeng. This speaks to relationships as a whole, enjoy:


Words, words are easy

They flow like trees grow

In the heart of a jungle

Uninhibited unrestrained and free to be

If only our actions were as free

Then maybe we could have had a shot at something

We could have been more than the nothing

We became in the end of our days

If we'd had the courage in our words to change our ways

To go beyond the mere words we'd say

"I love you too" when I never really meant it

"I'm sorry I hurt you" when you'd already spent it



Words that said one thing

Actions that meant another meant

Before we even knew it we'd drifted from one another

When all is said and done

Words, words are easy

It's the action that's the hardest part.

Bogus Varsity Hunting

Sunrise, E-Tv's morning news and what what program has been quite focused on the problem of bogus tertiary institutions in South Africa recently. Now, being a man who understands the importance of education and wanting to assist those who may be seeking alternative tertiary institutions because they couldn't get into any of the "major" varsities, I figured I'd write this (semi-tongue in cheek) piece. Enjoy:


So, you're looking to get into a tertiary institution to further your studies so you can find a job or work your way up from your current position. That's great, a desire to learn is the perfect place to start. That said, South African tertiary institutions have very limited space and resources, add to that, they can be quite expensive. So, here are a few tips on studying further in South Africa and avoiding the financial sinkhole that is the fly-by-night varsity:

1. Let me begin by taking a leaf from a church service I attended once (don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a sermon - this is not one of THOSE blogs). When it comes to varsity applications, live in faith. Do your research and select at least 3 well known institutions to apply to in ADVANCE of the closing dates, i.e. Wits, UJ, UWC, etc. The fact that you're only averaging 37% is irrelevant, who knows, the Department of Basic Education might just lower the university exemption mark to 35%, then we can have a 42% exemption rate.

2. Should point 1 above not pan out for you, you can look at "less mainstream" institutions like your Damelin, Boston Business College, etc., but again, do your research and use common sense. If you have to send your application to a Gmail account, this is probably a fly-by-night institution. If it's a Hotmail account, then it's DEFINITELY a fly-by-night. Report these people to the Department of Higher Education and Training immediately!

3. Find out if anyone you know has attended this institution. If possible, find out if anyone who has attended said institution has managed to find employment as anything other than a drug mule (refer to Drug Mule 101 for advice on this career choice).

4. Before handing over ANY money to this institution, find out where they're based. Go and visit this place, make sure it's not a spare room in someone's house. As the expert they had on Sunrise this morning said, "if they don't have basic equipment like white boards and chairs" it's probably a fly-by-night.

5. Still on the topic of money, if these people insist on being paid in unmarked, non-sequential R200 notes hand delivered to them in a non-descript black briefcase in the alley behind Game at 19:43 without any police accompaniment, then it's probably a fly-by-night - so be on your guard...or better yet, don't go to the "meet point". And call the police. Now!

6. So, youve found an institution and you probably have a pretty good idea of what you want to study and why. If not, I suggest you do some research. Once you know what field you're going into, make sure that the course/certificate/diploma/degree you're registering for is accredited. If you don't do this, you'll most likely find yourself with the equivalent of a matric certificate on your hands - in essence, you'll have forked out a couple of grand for a sheet of paper you could have printed at your local library. A good rule of thumb here, as per the Sunrise guest expert guy, is that you should bear in mind that a typical B.Com degree takes 3-4 years (for some 5, or 6...or even 7 years) to complete, so if someone is offering you a 6-month degree, say it with me now, it's probably a fly-by-night!

Great! Now that you have some basic pointers on what to look out for when applying for tertiary, it's time for you to get cracking. Should you require a bit more info on which institutions and courses are actually accredited, go to www.dhet.gov.za or call them on 0800 872 222. Good luck!

Love Tastes Like Strawberries

My friend, Soso, put up a Facebook status yesterday which read: "Love tastes like strawberries". I was inspired and wrote this. Lemme know what you think:) Enjoy:


Love tastes like strawberries dipped
Now drip drip dripping...some chocolate
Of the dark variety.
It's an acquired taste and for that it has notoriety

Orgasmic, if that's your thing it'll get there

Leave you with a blank stare

Just, glaring at the wall with everyone around
Trying to figure out just what it is about you

Giving off that glow

That never ending smile

Never emanating sighs

'Cause you're in love and you love it
'Cause to you,
Love tastes like strawberries dipped

Now drip drip dripping...some chocolate.

Speed Doesn't Kill - People Do

Our transport minister, Sbu Ndebele says he wants to start a debate on the reduction of the speed limit. Well, here's my take on the speed limit and road safety in general. (Note: if you still have problems commenting, select "comment as anonymous". Seems to work). Enjoy:

Let me start with a small disclaimer here: I love speed. There are few things in this world that come close to matching the near orgasmic feeling of putting your foot deep into the well of a car with a big engine and having sheer force suck you into the deep recesses of your seat! If you've ever been in a BMW or Audi or Merc or any other of a myriad of powerful cars, I'm more than 90% sure you're nodding your head round about now.

Now, the minister's argument, and we've seen this on countless Arrive Alive boards, is that speed kills. This argument is based on the fact that at higher speeds, you can't react in time (by the time you react you will have covered more distance than if you'd been traveling at a lower speed). The impact at higher speeds is also harder than at lower speeds, so your chances of fatal injury also increase because of the heavier impact. Fair points which I can not dispute.

What I do dispute, however, is the notion that lowering the speed limit will reduce deaths on our roads. I have a theory that accidents don't happen because of one factor - and speed is just that, ONE factor. I firmly believe accidents happen when people:

1. Drive unroadworthy vehicles
2. Don't stop to rest when they're tired
3. Drive under the influence
4. Attempt to overtake on busy roads/blind curves
5. Drive recklessly
6. Speed in unsafe conditions
7. Don't allow other motorists to overtake (by hogging the "fast lane" or speeding up when being overtaken)
8. Switch lanes without indicating, etc.

I could go on and on with this list, but I think you get the idea. You also need to factor in that all of the above could happen, but if the other driver that would've been in the accident is experienced and level headed enough to react, an accident can still be avoided.

Which brings me to the crux of my argument against reducing the speed limit. Honestly, given the level of cars (even entry models) in the market, a level headed, experienced driver in a basic 1.4 litre Polo can drive on a clear day at 160kmh+ without any issues. If another car veers out of its lane or a buck jumps into the road, she would most likely be able to react and avoid a possibly fatal collision. Put an 18 year old driver who has just bou...I mean "passed" their license last week in the same situation and you have a funeral on your hands. Even at 60kmh in a not so modern vehicle, with a driver whose first instinct is to freeze, hoot or even swerve with no thought to how the vehicle will react, you will most likely have fatalities on your hands - and THAT is where the problem lies.

I admit again, as I did above that speed cannot be discounted as a factor when we consider the likelihood of an accident being fatal, but I challenge our minister to look beyond the obvious in his attempt to curb road deaths. I say we start with removing unroadworthy vehicles from our roads - impound and destroy these vehicles. I say we suspend the licenses of anyone found driving under the influence - the same applying for reckless drivers. I say make our licensing system more efficient and effective so that people can get their licenses the right way - why not afford pupils the chance to test for their learners and drivers licenses in high school?

Then, when all of those factors have been dealt with, maybe have a look at our speed limits. If anything, I'd say you'll probably save more lives by increasing the speed limits because people won't feel the need to slam on their breaks whenever they see traffic officers - even when they're driving within the legal limit! Besides, if speed really was the biggest cause of road deaths, I think it's safe to say that everyone in Germany would be dead by now.

Protest Insurance - Really?

As I sat in an empty mall, two hours early for work contemplating what I could possibly blog about this week, I read an article on News24 about how South African councillors want insurance against protestors - at the expense of the municipalities! I thought this is too good a topic for me not to sink my teeth into. Enjoy:



So, let's start with an excerpt from the News24 article:

"Councillors should be entitled to, at the cost of municipalities or the state, risk benefits including but not limited to death cover, disability benefits, funeral benefits and cover for assets lost or damaged as a direct result of public violence,” reads a Salga letter to Co-operative Governance and Traditional Affairs Minister Richard Baloyi.

Say what now?? I can not help but CMAO (chuckle my ass off) at the notion that tax payers money should go towards covering councillors for possible property damage as a result of service delivery protests. I'm not saying I support/condone violence in any form, but really now?

Let's break that statement from the letter down into basic, everyday language that you and I can comprehend. Basically, what these guys are saying is as follows:

1. We're failing miserably at performing our jobs, therefor

2. The service delivery we promised people when we got our jobs/got elected isn't happening, so in essence

3. We're being paid to do nothing and this is pissing people off, therefor

4. Seeing as we are the faces of government, people are holding us to task for the non-service delivery through violent protests resulting in

5. Our property getting damaged. Property which we paid for with money we "earned" sitting on our asses playing solitaire on computers, therefor

6. We require protest insurance at the (additional) expense of government to protect our property.


If anyone feels that's an unfair summation of the excerpt please feel free to offer your take on the matter.

Moving right along, I foresee two main problems with the suggestion that government subsidizes insurance for its employees. My first concern here is, in actual fact for the safety of these councillors. Think about it, if a lion watches you walk past it's cage everyday with a fresh steak in hand while it sits hungry, does it make ANY sense at all for you to step inside its cage to retrieve the lettuce you saw growing next to its waterhole? I think not. People are already upset, and protesting violently mind you, about wasted funds and now the very people seen to be wasting these funds want to go and spend more money - ON THEMSELVES nogal! Clearly common sense is not their friend.

My second concern here is that this would be a classic example of addressing a symptom and not the cause. Contrary to popular belief, black (South) Africans are not blood hungry, criminal savages. People didn't JUST wake up one day and decide to stone and burn down other people's property. In case people have forgotten, and I doubt they have, this country earned its civil freedom through violent protests. Is it then really such a big surprise that they would default to the same tactics in a bid to win economic freedom and service delivery that was promised to them more than 17 years ago? What's that saying again, " if it's not broken..."

I have only one piece of advice to give our councillors: get your heads out of your asses and smell the roses. You have a job as a result of promises you said you could deliver on. This might have been explicitly expressed by you, or tacitly implied by the fact that you took on the job. Were you employed by a private institution you most likely would've been suspended/fired by now. So, you can do one of two things here: actually start doing your jobs, or step aside and let people who can do the jobs take over. It really is that simple.

Untitled [A Social Commentary]

I feel like I'm becoming a social commentator here. While watching a story on the news last night about how kids in Kwa-Zulu Natal have to swim across a river to get to school everyday because the community is waiting on government to "fix the situation", it hit me. The reason people in general stay losing, especially black South Africans: we lack constructive laziness. To sum up constructive laziness in a sentence, these people should have made a plan to build a bridge. People in the jungle do it using vines, you DON'T need an engineering degree! So I wrote this piece to get us as a people thinking about our approach to life. Will you live life with a disability while waiting on someone to fix it, or will you see beyond what's in front of you to fix it yourself? In other words, will you choose to swim with the current, or build a damn bridge?? Enjoy:



I show to my minds eye what these can't see
The things in plain sight but hidden to you an me
More than just imagination, inspiration
Dreams and hopes to change nations.

Vision beyond what's in front of me
Empathy to more than those who are friends to me
Even to my enemies
A burning desire deep down in the heart of the fire
To say to struggle "no more,
This isn't what we were put here for!
To watch our fellow man struggle
While we claim to push the hustle."
For what. For who.

What does it mean to you
That you have food rotting in your dustbin
While others rummage through the garbage at the holiday inn
Looking for something, anything
To fill the void in their stomachs.

Switch your focus up, change the drive for your hustle
Keep your eyes wide open and your ears wider still
Be the one to make a difference, help heal our society's ills.

Drivers Etiquette

I recently did a cross country tour of South Africa, covering 7 of our 9 provinces and 4000km in a space of three weeks. Given what I saw, I thought I'd do a piece on driving etiquette for those of you who may have just moved to a new province/city to help you acclimatize a bit faster. (Note: this post contains all manner of generalizations which were meant to be humorous...because they're true:) Enjoy:


So, this week everyone is officially back at work. For some, it's going back to familiar jobs in familiar cities, and for others this means starting new jobs in unfamiliar surroundings. Either way, you have to find your way around, so to this end, I will give you a province by province breakdown for what to look out for when on the roads (excluding the North West and Eastern Cape Provinces as I wasn't in those two).

For the purposes of, erm...objectivity, the provinces will be listed in alphabetical order, starting with the Free State and ending off with the Western Cape.

1. Free state: Traffic lights and lane markings clearly weren't a priority in Bloemfontein, so be aware when driving in the city. Also, be wary of pedestrians who randomly cross the road as if in a zombie state. They don't look left and right and left again, they just step into the road.

2. Gauteng: For the longest time I complained about how Cape Town drivers need to drive as if they're going somewhere. I don't have this problem with Joburg drivers. They all drive as if they're trying to get to their graves. Too much focus is what got that other guy killed...you know, that OTHER guy. This could also lead to a fender bender for the untrained driver - explaining to the boss that you're late because you're trying to figure out Gauteng public transport while your car is in for repairs is not a good look. To that end, if you don't have the car hire option on your insurance, be sure to add it when you get to Gauteng. Thank me later.

3. Kwa-Zulu Natal: Oh. My. Gosh! I have a theory regarding drivers in KZN. Either they can't afford the R8.00 toll gates and use their indicator sticks to pay for them or they have some sort of telepathic understanding which the rest of us aren't privy to, because they randomly switch lanes - on the bloody highway! At 120kmh!! I swear I nearly got pushed off the road three times...in a ten minute period. Drive there at your own peril.

4. Limpopo: Not to be biased because I'm from here, and Imma let you finish, but Limpopo has some of the greatest drivers of all time! That said, I do wish the government would create an alternative to the N1 to cross borders, because all of those vans overloaded with maize meal and cooking oil looking like their rear left wheels are about to pop off are not a good look for us.

5. Mpumalanga: I have one thing to say about this province. Potholes and corruption 35 - service delivery 0. Be afraid, be very afraid...and slow. A pothole at 90kmh+ will do no good for your rims and even less good to your pocket.

6. Northern Cape: No-one actually lives in the Northern Cape, so...

7. Western Cape: As mentioned above, not the most focused drivers in the world. I often used to get the impression that Cape Town drivers just got into their cars and drove with the hopes that an almighty power would "give them a sign" to guide them on their journeys. Should you find yourself needing to get somewhere in this province, take initiative and show focus, otherwise you WILL forever more be 17 minutes late. For everything!

I hope this helps. Happy driving and enjoy the roads, we have a beautiful country with some breath taking scenery and a truckload of truly epic roads! Be safe, buckle up, don't drink and drive and have an epic 2012. Do best!

Objectively Speaking

I wrote this piece because I was/am pissed about "racism", politics and our "education" system. Read it, give me your thoughts. (Note: I know some of you had issues leaving comments before cause you had to login, but I changed the settings so hopefully it works now:) Happy New Year by the way. Enjoy:


South Africa's matric results came out on the 4th of January. We achieved a 70 odd percent pass rate. If you celebrated and creamed your pants when that was announced, you're a dumbass and you're part of the problem. I hope that offended you. My second point of offense (to you) has to do with people forever more bitching and whining about how racism prevents them from getting certain jobs or living in certain cities. Get over it! If you feel that statement makes me a self-hating, model-c coconut please refer to the latter half of the third sentence of this paragraph.

Let me break down my two statements economically for you, since everyone in SA is a life taught economist. People go on and on and on about how racism is rife in certain parts of the country and they could never work there. I'll take Cape Town as an example since it was recently in the "news" regarding how racist it is. I have met many a black professional who has said to me "I could never work in Cape Town, there aren't any blacks there (especially in senior positions) therefore it must be racist." Hmmmm. Fair comments, but did you ever stop to think that black people leave places like Cape Town because they're chasing money in Joburg? Did you ever imagine that the large majority of blacks in SA aren't from Cape Town, THEREFORE they choose not to build their lives/careers there? No, you default to racism.

Now let's bring in the economics of the pass rate. People jump up and down like monkies when they see a 70% pass rate. Great, but what does that really mean? I'll tell you what it means: jack shit!

Granted, we broke the mystical 70% pass rate, but that was based on lowered standards. I quiver to think what the pass rate would look like if we used the tertiary standard 50% pass mark. Above and beyond that, the percentage which actually matters, the exemption rate (those who qualify for tertiary) is at 24%. That means, and follow closely boys and girls, a whopping 76% of our matriculants are walking away from high school either empty handed or with nothing more than a glorified piece of paper. Let me not even get into the fact that roughly 50% of kids who started Grade 1 with the class of 2011 didn't even make it to matric.

Now we all know that in South Africa you need one of two things to get ahead in life. You must either have a reputable qualification from a reputable institution, or you need to have contacts. I won't even get into work experience because that's a whole other kettle of fish.

So here's the bit where I need you to apply that life taught economic thinking of yours. Let's say you're in a position to hire (read empower) an individual for a summer internship, knowing full well that your aim is to maximize profit and efficiency for your business/company, so objectivity is key. You have Sipho, who goes to a "black school". He's top of his grade and he does this by following a ritual everyday. Go to school, come home and study. No TV, magazines or Internet because his parents can't afford them, and no friends because they're a distraction. On the other hand you have Mandla. Mandla goes to a former model-c school. He's an average student, but he is well read and up to date with current affairs. He comes from a middle income family so he can afford a good tertiary education - Sipho does not, and he was hoping to save his earnings from this job to pay his registration fees and work his ass off so he could get a bursary (but you don't know this). Given that typical interview questions can include things like: "What's your take on the death of Bin Laden?" or "Do you think it's fair for Iran to withhold oil?" or "What effect do you think the tolls will have on trade in Gauteng?", who do you think will answer the questions better/with more confidence? Now that you've answered that question, I doubt I'd be wrong in saying that's the guy you would hire 10 times out of 10. That means while Mandla continues to thrive, Sipho will lose faith in hard work and most likely end up in a political party siphoning money from the state.

So let me ask this: is it really fair to claim that certain areas are racist because there aren't any blacks living/working there? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying lets shut up about racism, but maybe we should stop defaulting to it as an excuse everytime instead of doing some introspection into ourselves and our people.

I will conclude by asking this, if we define racism as the systematic degradation of blacks by a group of individuals, objectively speaking, is it not those in charge of the education and uplifment of blacks who are not only failing at their jobs but also keep shouting racism who are the true racists here?